I just saw a hot homeless man
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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