someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
