Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
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I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
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I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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