member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
