don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
