just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
