Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I would ride that face into the sunset
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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