Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.

(970): View more from Colorado

Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.

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(510): View more from California

Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.

(1-413): View more from Massachusetts

A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.

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(519): View more from Ontario

sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?

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(513): View more from Ohio

He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions

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(530): View more from California

What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.

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(519): View more from Ontario

hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?

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