i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
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just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
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Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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