White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
