Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
