we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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