If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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