I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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