Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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