i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize