Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
