Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I want to make a zoo with you.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm both gender and math confused
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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