And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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