just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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