I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
