I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
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