I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
