He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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