He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
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And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
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Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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