We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
