yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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