three words: i give head
three words: not that well
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
