I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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