thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
