he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
