youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
