We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
