He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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