i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
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just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
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My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?