I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
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at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
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I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.