Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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