we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
