every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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