Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
