I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
