I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
