What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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