she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize