Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
