you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
