he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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