I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize