I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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