So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize