Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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