...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm like, not good at living.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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