Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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