What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
