Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
