the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
