return my video game
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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