It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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