We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
