Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize