Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
